2) A levels

Damn.

It's no kidding that struggles are real when it comes to A levels. People say A levels is the most difficult examination one can ever take. It's to the point where "even doing Masters is easier" as quoted from my father. It isn't for everyone. But to heck with that. I really believe that I could do it, I really can. It's just my own silly mistake for not being careful and for being irresponsible at the time. damn.

That's the reason why I'm disappointed in myself. That's why I kind of despised it whenever people gave typical responses and so called 'motivation' to me. Other people who got more or less similar results like mine have said they've done their best. Well guess what? I haven't. And that's the most crucial reason as to why I always find me being disappointed in myself at the end of every day since my results came out. I could've had a different future by now if only I'd just did what I was supposed to do.

I wanted to prove people who underestimated my choice of courses wrong, I wanted to prove the A level myth wrong, I wanted to show them A level isn't hard if you only just take it seriously. I could've done it but I didn't. That's why I'm disappointed in me, I didn't get to achieve my goal for A levels.

We may plan certain stuffs, but not everything goes according to our plans. This is because Allah is the best of planners and when things don't go your way, Allah has planned something far way better than what you've intended to achieve. I really hold on tho these folowing phrases: "Everything happens for a reason", "Disebalik semua ini, pasti ada hikmahnya.".

So, NO! I won't give up just yet because my journey does NOT end here. It's merely beginning, and I believe it's going to be a beautiful beginning if I only just stay FOCUSED.

You've had your success before, your friend have not. Now, it's their time to shine and my time to taste disappointment to know appreciation and not taking things for granted.

However, fellow A level candidates, know that you are not alone. You never are. I finally realised this when my cousin took me out for dinner. We aren't that close to be honest, which made me wonder why she randomly texted me if I wanted to go out and have dinner with her. My cousin took me for dinner and she was just there, comforting me. She shared with me what she's gone through during A levels and she let me know how she understands EXACTLY how I felt. In fact, she convinced me how she's had it tougher cause of some private reasons. Look at how amazing that is? We aren't even THAT close and yet, she was able to be there for me. I heard from my mom that she did this to my older sister as well! Bless her. What an amazing thing to do. She really elevated me. So whatever happens, never give up. Got good grades, get greater grades. Got bad grades, get better grades. YOU CAN DO IT!!


Bless up xx